This week had been rough. Not only did I have exams and projects to turn in, I was also having a rough time with Gerardo, and I was actually pondering about ending it once again. Couple that with Amit (not sure if using his name is OK but hope he doesn't mind) digging more and more into my heart... well, you get the picture. For a moment, I was 100% sure that even though I love Gerardo, so profoundly, that I just couldn't deal with the constant fighting that had risen.
Ever since the hospital day when he said that he wouldn't have missed me, I was, rightfully might I add, distant from him and really sad. He said it was only a joke later, but I somehow could not believe him. I think I've mentioned before in this blog that I'm pretty blunt, and so, the people I mingle with tend to be pretty blunt too. Gerardo is not the exception. And he has been known for saying some pretty harsh things. So, I was a little shaky on believing him.
Then came today. We went out tonight with other friends, the night was pretty much great. We went to a little bar in a zone called Coyoacán. They play good music and well, it has a nice atmosphere.
Anyway, he drove this time. He asked me many questions as we came here. Asking if I was OK, how come I hadn't kissed him at all today, why didn't I let him touch my hair (he loves playing with my hair). I asked back why would he care to touch me at all since he wouldn't have missed me anyway if I had died. He sighed dejectedly and didn't say much the rest of the way.
When we got back here, to his place, he told me to wait on the couch. I didn't of course, and rampaged his fridge. (Did I ever mention his parents live in another state so he has an apartment alone here?). He came back with his guitar and then played the song that I will attempt to translate now.
Before I begin though, do you guys like my music player thing? I didn't know if people would like my taste in music so I took a risk with putting the box thingy there, it'd be nice to get some feedback on that. Anyway, on to the song.
The song is called Dime Ven and is sung by a group called Motel. I will put the translation first and the original lyrics will follow.
I can feel your touch, but I can't see you
I feel you're hidden in the wall
Hidden in my memories
I feel yesterday's caresses
Those lips I search for incessantly
I want to peer into you
In my phone calls I searched
And a hidden message I found
It's just that I want to know...
(Chorus)
Tell me you believe me
Tell me you believe me
Tell me what you feel when you see me
Or when I leave
Or when I'm not around
Tell me to come, come on, tell me
Say "I never forgot you" again
Tell me that you want to see me again
No matter what's to come
Tell me to come, come on, tell me.
Each space, each place
Each immortal word you've spoken
Imprinted your sound on my body
And every time I want to dream
All I need to do is think of our beginning
And what destiny will bring
I'm searching for faith in my words
Those faithful caresses from yesterday
Because I want to know...
(Chorus)x2
Did I ever mention music is one of the ways into my heart? He knows that, and he always finds exactly the song to make me feel better. I don't know what to do anymore. So, I kissed him, and told him I forgive him. And then you know what happened... and now he is asleep while I write this. (Writing in this blog has improved my typing speed dramatically and it was already fast enough!!! I'm glad for that.)
Anyway, I suppose I'll go back to bed.
Goodnight, everyone.
Alex-
Motel - Dime Ven
Siento que me tocas sin ver
Que te apareces detrás de la pared
Detrás de mis recuerdos
Y siento las caricias de ayer
Aquellos labios que busco sin ceder
Te quiero ver por dentro
Y entre las llamadas busqué
Un mensaje oculto encontré
Y es que quiero saber
(Coro)
Dime que me crees
Dime que me crees
Dime que sientes cuando me ves
Cuando me voy
Cuando no estoy
Dime ven ven
Dime ven ven dime
Dime otra vez nunca te olvidé
Dime que quieres volverme a ver
Sin importar lo que vendrá
Dime ven ven
Dime ven ven dime.
Cada espacio a cada lugar
Cada palabra inmortal que haz repetido
Grabo en mi cuerpo tus sonidos
Y cada vez que quiero soñar
Solo hace falta pensar en el inicio
En lo que nos traera el destino
Busco en las palabras la fe
Por que quiero saber
(Coro) x2
Ésta semana fué muy pesada. No sólo tuve exámenes y proyectos que entregar, también tuve problemas con Gerardo, y ponderé la noción de cortar con él. Aunado a ésto está Amit que nada más se adentra en mi corazón más y más y bueno... ya saben. Por un momento, estaba 100% seguro que aunque amo a Gerardo, profundamente, simplemente no puedo con tanta pelea.
Desde aquel día del hospital, cuando dijo que no me hubiera extrañado, yo estaba, y con razón, algo distanciado de él, y triste. Después dijo que sólo fué una broma, pero por alguna razón no le podía creer. Creo que lo he mencionado antes, pero soy muy directo, y la gente con la que me junto es muy directa tambíen. Gerardo no es la excepción. Suele decir cosas muy duras. Así que no era fácil creerle.
Y luego vino hoy. Salimos hoy con unos amigos, la noche fué genial. Fuimos a un barcito en Coyoacán. Ponen musica chida y tiene ambiente rico.
En fín, el manejó de regreso. Me preguntó muchas cosas mientras veníamos. Preguntando si estaba bien, que por qué no lo había besado hoy, por qué no lo dejaba tocar mi pelo (le encanta jugar con él). Le contesté preguntándole que qúe le importaba si al fin y al cabo no me iba a extrañar si me moría. Suspiró, y no dijo mucho el resto del camino.
Cuando llegamos aquí a su depa, me dijo que esperara en el sillón. Que no hice claro, y asalté su refri. (Mencioné que el vive solo aquí por que sus papás viven en otro estado?). Regresó con su guitarra y tocó la canción que puse arriba. Y es la misma música del blog. (Duh.)
Mencioné que la música es una de las llaves de mi corazón? Él sabe eso, y siempre encuentra la canción perfecta para hacerme sentir bien. No se que hacer ya. Lo besé, le dije que lo perdonaba. Y después ya saben lo que pasó. Ahora está dormido mientras escribo ésto. (Como ha mejorado mi velocidad desde que empecé este blog y ya era rápida de por si!!! Me hace feliz eso.)
En fín, supongo que regresaré a la cama.
Buenas noches.
Alex
Ever since the hospital day when he said that he wouldn't have missed me, I was, rightfully might I add, distant from him and really sad. He said it was only a joke later, but I somehow could not believe him. I think I've mentioned before in this blog that I'm pretty blunt, and so, the people I mingle with tend to be pretty blunt too. Gerardo is not the exception. And he has been known for saying some pretty harsh things. So, I was a little shaky on believing him.
Then came today. We went out tonight with other friends, the night was pretty much great. We went to a little bar in a zone called Coyoacán. They play good music and well, it has a nice atmosphere.
Anyway, he drove this time. He asked me many questions as we came here. Asking if I was OK, how come I hadn't kissed him at all today, why didn't I let him touch my hair (he loves playing with my hair). I asked back why would he care to touch me at all since he wouldn't have missed me anyway if I had died. He sighed dejectedly and didn't say much the rest of the way.
When we got back here, to his place, he told me to wait on the couch. I didn't of course, and rampaged his fridge. (Did I ever mention his parents live in another state so he has an apartment alone here?). He came back with his guitar and then played the song that I will attempt to translate now.
Before I begin though, do you guys like my music player thing? I didn't know if people would like my taste in music so I took a risk with putting the box thingy there, it'd be nice to get some feedback on that. Anyway, on to the song.
The song is called Dime Ven and is sung by a group called Motel. I will put the translation first and the original lyrics will follow.
I can feel your touch, but I can't see you
I feel you're hidden in the wall
Hidden in my memories
I feel yesterday's caresses
Those lips I search for incessantly
I want to peer into you
In my phone calls I searched
And a hidden message I found
It's just that I want to know...
(Chorus)
Tell me you believe me
Tell me you believe me
Tell me what you feel when you see me
Or when I leave
Or when I'm not around
Tell me to come, come on, tell me
Say "I never forgot you" again
Tell me that you want to see me again
No matter what's to come
Tell me to come, come on, tell me.
Each space, each place
Each immortal word you've spoken
Imprinted your sound on my body
And every time I want to dream
All I need to do is think of our beginning
And what destiny will bring
I'm searching for faith in my words
Those faithful caresses from yesterday
Because I want to know...
(Chorus)x2
Did I ever mention music is one of the ways into my heart? He knows that, and he always finds exactly the song to make me feel better. I don't know what to do anymore. So, I kissed him, and told him I forgive him. And then you know what happened... and now he is asleep while I write this. (Writing in this blog has improved my typing speed dramatically and it was already fast enough!!! I'm glad for that.)
Anyway, I suppose I'll go back to bed.
Goodnight, everyone.
Alex-
Motel - Dime Ven
Siento que me tocas sin ver
Que te apareces detrás de la pared
Detrás de mis recuerdos
Y siento las caricias de ayer
Aquellos labios que busco sin ceder
Te quiero ver por dentro
Y entre las llamadas busqué
Un mensaje oculto encontré
Y es que quiero saber
(Coro)
Dime que me crees
Dime que me crees
Dime que sientes cuando me ves
Cuando me voy
Cuando no estoy
Dime ven ven
Dime ven ven dime
Dime otra vez nunca te olvidé
Dime que quieres volverme a ver
Sin importar lo que vendrá
Dime ven ven
Dime ven ven dime.
Cada espacio a cada lugar
Cada palabra inmortal que haz repetido
Grabo en mi cuerpo tus sonidos
Y cada vez que quiero soñar
Solo hace falta pensar en el inicio
En lo que nos traera el destino
Busco en las palabras la fe
Por que quiero saber
(Coro) x2
Ésta semana fué muy pesada. No sólo tuve exámenes y proyectos que entregar, también tuve problemas con Gerardo, y ponderé la noción de cortar con él. Aunado a ésto está Amit que nada más se adentra en mi corazón más y más y bueno... ya saben. Por un momento, estaba 100% seguro que aunque amo a Gerardo, profundamente, simplemente no puedo con tanta pelea.
Desde aquel día del hospital, cuando dijo que no me hubiera extrañado, yo estaba, y con razón, algo distanciado de él, y triste. Después dijo que sólo fué una broma, pero por alguna razón no le podía creer. Creo que lo he mencionado antes, pero soy muy directo, y la gente con la que me junto es muy directa tambíen. Gerardo no es la excepción. Suele decir cosas muy duras. Así que no era fácil creerle.
Y luego vino hoy. Salimos hoy con unos amigos, la noche fué genial. Fuimos a un barcito en Coyoacán. Ponen musica chida y tiene ambiente rico.
En fín, el manejó de regreso. Me preguntó muchas cosas mientras veníamos. Preguntando si estaba bien, que por qué no lo había besado hoy, por qué no lo dejaba tocar mi pelo (le encanta jugar con él). Le contesté preguntándole que qúe le importaba si al fin y al cabo no me iba a extrañar si me moría. Suspiró, y no dijo mucho el resto del camino.
Cuando llegamos aquí a su depa, me dijo que esperara en el sillón. Que no hice claro, y asalté su refri. (Mencioné que el vive solo aquí por que sus papás viven en otro estado?). Regresó con su guitarra y tocó la canción que puse arriba. Y es la misma música del blog. (Duh.)
Mencioné que la música es una de las llaves de mi corazón? Él sabe eso, y siempre encuentra la canción perfecta para hacerme sentir bien. No se que hacer ya. Lo besé, le dije que lo perdonaba. Y después ya saben lo que pasó. Ahora está dormido mientras escribo ésto. (Como ha mejorado mi velocidad desde que empecé este blog y ya era rápida de por si!!! Me hace feliz eso.)
En fín, supongo que regresaré a la cama.
Buenas noches.
Alex
Well, I suppose that's all I'll say on this one. (hug)
I can't offer you real advice since I only know you through the words you right. Do what your heart tells you.
(The music player makes it hard to read from my office - it alerts others to the fact that I'm not doing my work!)
Chris - there is a pause button - thought it takes a couple of seconds to pause it - alas, even a few seconds is probably enough to alert the office of the 'pretending to work' mode.
Alex I'm fine you using my name - although I really am growing attached to Soul Seared Dreamer.
Chris: Aaawww, I'm sorry it disrupts your work place. If general consensus is autostart = bad I will make it so it doesn't start playing on it's own. That's right, if 4/6 of my readers complain I'll change it :P!
SSD: Fine, I shall call you SSD and will focus on just using non-english songs :P Haha.
Alex
I can't comment on this topic either since I've only started to read SSD's blog and your blog recently and I'm already biased.
Sorry!
With regards to the music player, I do agree that setting autostart to false would be a good option.
Jay.
I can't believe that I used the word "right" when I needed to use the word "write." I am so embarrassed!!
Y buena suerte con los chavales, Alex. Sigue tu corazón a donde te lleva ...
I dont think that anyone can tell you what to do. If I said leave him right now, what would you think. No i like/love him? If so then you have your answer!